funeral chapel

More registering deaths and fraud prevention this week but there’s so much more paperwork I can’t do until I’m a practicing funeral director. The only other thing I’ve also learned to do is create burial or cremation permits.  When performing a cremation or a burial in the cemetery, a permit has to be on hand.

I did finally see the prep room.  I went with a funeral director too fetch Mr. Ferguson from there and wheel him up to our viewing/visitation room.  I expected it to look like the ones I saw on TV…dark but a lot of white and stainless steel, bare counters… but it was much worse that I imagined.  I didn’t have a good look around but it was dark, very cold, and containers and tubes were laying everywhere.  To top off the experience, a body covered in a white sheet had some yellow and bloody fluid soaking through it, “oh looks like someone is leaking” say the funeral director.

Mr. Ferguson’s funeral went well.  He was a man in his early 80’s and his body had just shut down.  His family chose to have a viewing, so those who wanted to could see him and say their goodbyes and then have a service in the chapel.  By the way, I did find out the large room where most services are held with the pews is in fact called the chapel.  The family was pleased with the service. We had another funeral that same day, a young man with a young family.  It was sad, but you just have to be grateful you aren’t in that families place, you can’t let yourself think “what if this was my husband, my brother, my dad” or you will break down. His family didn’t have a viewing, but the family requested he be cremated in time for the funeral so his ashes sat in front of the chapel as the service was held.  Then afterwards everyone went to the reception room where there was catering and they all stayed for a few hours.

This was the first day a funeral director let me have a big hand in the services.  Before a service we review the contract to see what type of service the requested (i.e. viewing/ service, traditional (service, then graveside etc.), service and reception) and get the box of items. (As a funeral is being planned we create a box labelled with the deceased last name and throw in items needed for the funeral as we go along i.e. service cards, signs, guest book etc.)  Before anyone arrives, we turn on the microphones (if they are having a service in the large chapel room), we turn on the tv’s (if they are to show a video/slideshow), put the signs out with the deceased name and indicated where to go in the home, and other small tasks.  Usually, the funeral director calls our Care Centre and arrange for an Attendant to come in and assist with these preparations.  We gather the family when they arrive, or sometimes they request a family room to all wait together in until the service begins.  Sometimes they bring items like pictures or the deceased favourite items and we set those out, or they bring music they want played during the funeral or their own dvd. Then the funeral director and clergy (if requested) will discuss the order of events.   When family and guests arrived, I assisted by handing out the small service cards, hymn books, directing people and asking them to sign guest book. Also, during the second funeral I had to follow along with the funeral and play and stop music at the appropriate times.

I had to laugh the other day.  We have a lot of funerals for old people and that means they usually have a lot of old friends and family and most of them are now familiar with our funeral home.  One little old lady “Oh it isn’t in the chapel today?”  Another one, “Is the reception in the downstairs tearoom, or that lovely room down the hall?”

Random Learning’s this week:

• Some people call wanting their loved one to be immediately transferred from the hospital but it takes 24 hours for them to be released. 
• Walk slow, real slow around the funeral home.  A fast pace makes people nervous and feel rushed…even if you aren’t rushed, you just have to slow the pace. 
• Anything to do with choosing a resting place in the cemetery goes to cemetery staff, funeral directors do not deal with it, so a FSC (family service counsellor) from the cemetery staff will often join a funeral director when arranging with a family.  Also if people are doing preplanning for their own funeral, it is done with a FSC. However, if it’s an imminent as discussed last week (where one is expected to die at any time so the informant or executor of their will), that family will meet with a funeral director.  
• If someone has pre-planned and the executor doesn’t know, when we enter the contract online, we will see that they are registered.  If it’s with a funeral home within our corporation, the planning can easily be transferred to our funeral home or a funeral home of their choice.  Bigger problems arise though if it was down outside the country. Also, it’s hard to believe but sometimes people forgot they have already pre-planned their funeral and pre-plan again. 
• Arranging the death of a stillborn baby is not cost to the family, the only thing I family has to pay for is a casket or urn if they choose to have one.  Also depending on how long a baby dies after birth there is also considerable discounts for the family.