emotions

 “Isn’t it depressing being around grieving people all the time?” I get asked this question constantly whether I am telling somebody what I do for a living, have a new follower on Twitter, or even a curious family at the funeral home, and I completely understand why you would. You would assume everyone that comes in would be upset, crying, etc. which is usually the case, but often people are angry – angry the person died and left them, angry they are in charge of taking care of the planning and estate, angry they have to pay for the costs…angry for a number of reasons and unfortunately they usually take it out on the funeral director. They may not even realize how they are dealing with the loss; emotions run extremely high and some people deal with grief differently than others.  It also comes with a lot of stress, anxiety and irritability. You also have people that don’t show much emotion, mostly because they haven’t come to terms with the death and sometimes this comes with indecisiveness and procrastination which can be very frustrating. No matter what kind of emotions you are dealing with, it does take a certain type of individual to handle the bereaved. For the most part we can set our personal emotions aside. There’s something in the back of our heads that say “Thank goodness I’m not in these peoples shoes… it’s not me going through this.”  You can never start to think about ‘what if this was your child, your mother, your father, your husband, your wife, etc.’ because emotions will hit you like a ton of bricks and you won’t be able to do the job.  Sure, we are human and sometimes it’s hard to hold it together, and I’ve seen the funeral directors shed a few tears for someone, especially if we can relate their loss to one of our own. But that’s a good thing, we haven’t become numb! And when someone is angry and taking it out on us, sure, we can slip and take it personally, but, to that one difficult person or family we have ten families that are so grateful that we are helping them through what is likely the most difficult time in their entire life. When we help with all their needs or put together a personalized funeral that exceeds their expectations, the rewarding feeling and is so worth the time spent (and perhaps the few tears we spilled in the background). It’s what makes us walk through the front doors of our funeral home every day.