The initial call that we receive that someone has passed away is also called a “first call”. Typically it’s from a family member, and often the Executor. We also have nurses from care homes and hospices that call and sometimes a Public Trustee if there is no family. We have a form to fill out to capture all the information we need immediately. This includes the deceased name, birth date, the person who is calling, their contact information and the location of the deceased. We ask if the deceased has a will, and if so, who is named as Executor of the will. If there is an Executor this is who we make the arrangements with, and by law, has the right to making decisions. If there is no will, then the next of kin has the right to make the arrangements. The next of kin is decided upon by what is written in funeral law for where you live. There is literally a list that starts with the Executor then usually spouse, children (starting with eldest), then sibling, parent, the list goes one… So once we know who the Executor or next of kin is, if it’s not the person on the other end of the telephone, I tell them that the person is required to be at the arrangement meeting. In some cases, we email or fax the forms to that person if they don’t live in the area. I then tell them the items they need to bring to our arrangement meeting. This usually includes a copy of the will, some forms of the deceased’s identification, a recent photo and clothing. If it’s a care home or hospice calling, we make the arrangements to pick the body up immediately since they don’t have morgues. If the family informs us that their loved one is in a hospital then I tell them the procedure – when they come in and make arrangements, it’s at that time they sign a hospital release giving me permission to go and pick the body up from the hospital. If the person calling us informs us that the deceased is in a house, we ask them if it’s an “expected home death”. If it is not, we tell them they have to contact authorities first. This would involve a coroner. An “expected home death” is when a person is gravely ill and has their doctor fill out the required legal paperwork allowing them to spend the rest of their days in the comfort of a home rather than a hospital. By presenting this paperwork it allows us to immediately pick up the body.
First calls can be challenging. Sometimes a person is very much in shock when they call us, sometimes they are crying uncontrollably, sometimes they are angry but it’s often because they are scared and the process is very much unknown to them. Sometimes, they pour their heart out, and it’s just hard for us to even hold it together. I try to assure the families I talk to that we will guide them during the initial steps and everything will be discussed at our arrangement meeting. Usually this gives them piece of mind and already takes a little weight of their shoulders in knowing that we will help providing them some direction.